Post Heavenly Hippity Hop Race Interview

Of course the entrants of the Heavenly Father's Day Hippity Hop Race had to sit down afterwards and discuss the strategies and techniques that each used during their run....(If there were any strategies, ahem...!!) Needless to say, this discussion took place immediately after they woke up Seattle Slew, who stopped mid-race for an afternoon siesta along the backstretch......!!! Remember yesterday when Barbaro, Secretariat, Affirmed, Northern Dancer and Diabolo did some creative "face-painting" on Slew after the race while he was still asleep? Yep, picture this, we have the entrants around the table to begin our post-race discussion, yet ONE of these Heavenly equines just DOESN'T belong....Can you guess who? You got it....The Geisha Girl!!! Seems that Northern Dancer got his hooves on some white face powder and did a light "dusting" over Slew's face!! LIGHT DUSTING??  I think not.....Slew's face is as white as a fresh blanket of new fallen snow!!!  Of course Secretariat and Affirmed did his eyes with VERY BLACK eyeliner, which curled up at the corners "a la" Elizabeth Taylor in the movie "Cleopatra", while Barbaro and Diabolo applied red, red, RED lipstick to a newly-designed tiny set of Heavenly lips. A little bit of Heavenly mousse in Slew's already "wind-whisked" forelock and "POOF", a teased up hairdo!!!  VOILA!!! Let's start the discussion, shall we?? Of course Slew has no idea what he looks like and we're certainly not about to tell him yet, however, it will become quite challenging for us not to laugh whenever we look at him!!! 

Heavenly Interviewer: "How does this type of race differ than other races any of you had participated in?"

Barbaro: "Are you kidding me? We're bouncing on rubber balls using our back legs to move and we ran the first quarter in 25 minutes. You do the math! I've never been loaded in a starting gate sitting on anything, definitely felt weird....!" (laughs)

Affirmed: "Barbaro, you could win a race moonwalking, blindfolded, while reciting the alphabet backwards...you're that good!!" (entire group laughs while agreeing)

Heavenly Interviewer: "Northern Dancer, at what point did you realize you were racing the wrong way?"

Northern Dancer: "Oh, that was embarrassing...." (Yes, cause the fact that you were all riding Hippity Hop balls in a race wasn't?) "I guess when I seen the Heavenly rail on my right side while I was bouncing along kinda made me start to wonder.....That and the fact that I seen Diabolo and Barbaro heading towards me at "mach 1" speeds!"

Heavenly Interviewer: "Slew, you made it to the backstretch, then took a nap, why?" (Trying hard not to look directly at him...........The gang is snickering)

Slew: "I just found that the aerodynamics and circumference width of the rubber Hippity Hop ball were not conducive to the amount of draft available and the dirt track ratios were way off, which really hindered my ability to make up any ground plus I got tired from going in circles!" (Huh??) (The gang is laughing hysterically now as Slew looks to his left and right wondering WHY??!!!)

Heavenly Interviewer: "Diabolo, can you attribute your deadheat win to the polish that Sword Dancer applied to your Hippity Hop ball in the post parade?"

Diabolo: "Man, THAT was a challenge! Here I am expecting to bounce and I end up sliding into the Clubhouse turn on my side, white knuckled the entire time. I think I should have worn knee pads and shin guards!!" (Leans over on his side, eyes wide, eyebrows up, mimicking going into the turn sideways - the group is laughing again)

Heavenly Interviewer: "Affirmed, you broke from the gate good, but then you just started bouncing up and down without making up any ground, what was going through your head at the time?"

Affirmed: "Honestly? You want to know what was going through my head?  Ok, my first thought was, hmmm, I'm a Triple Crown winner sitting on a rubber ball, holding rubber handles, going absolutely NOWHERE but UP, and for the life of me I can't figure out how to do this!  I won the Belmont Stakes for crying out loud, the most grueling race of the Triple Crown, and for some reason I can't maneuver this d#$m rubber ball??!!" (laughing) (Heavenly pardon)

Secretariat: "I agree with Affirmed, I too won the Triple Crown yet there's something to be said about 'bouncing' your way into the winner's circle. A definite challenge to say the least and TIRING as well!!"

(Oh oh, Slew has just scratched an "itch" on his nose and has noticed that his hoof is now WHITE.....YIKES!!!.....He's looking at it, studying it, still staring at it, thinking, thinking, nothing yet, his face is still expressionless.....nothing, nothing......we're looking at each other wondering if he'll put two and two together.......COME ON SLEW...GET THERE.....and, and, and BINGO!! He just started laughing and turned to us all and quipped, "Aw man, I got Cool Whip on my face still from the night before...!!" Oh well, he'll figure it out soon enough!!)

Heavenly Interviewer: "Ok, well I just want to thank all of you for your input at this Round Table discussion, are there any final thoughts?"

Barbaro: "Ya, NO MORE RUBBER HIPPITY HOP BALL RACES!!" (laughing)

Diabolo: "Let's have a rematch, only this time, no cooking spray polish on mine!"

Affirmed: "Good luck with that, count me out!!" (laughing)

Secretariat: "How about a soap-box Derby instead?"

Northern Dancer: "A hockey game! I'm Canadian, what can I say?" (laughing)

Seattle Slew: "A BAKE-OFF!!!!"

Oh Slew, you're hilarious!!! Now where's Regret with that mirror of hers so we can show Slew EXACTLY what he looks like......