Remember The Heaven's Gate Farm "Father's Day Hippity Hop Race"?

Now for those of you who are new to this Heavenly blog, back in June of your Earthly 2008, a few of the Heavenly equines decided to try a different type of racing.....A race that not only involves skill, timing, balance, and speed, but one that involves FUN!!  The old fashioned "Hippity Hop" ball race....Remember them?  Those massive rubber balls with the tiny handles on top that one uses to bounce around the Earthly back yard in, and if you leaned on them the wrong way you'd slide off them and end up eating dirt??  Ya, those!  As you can see below, they now come in various animal styles, so which one do you think the gang all grabbed to race with??  Why of course......the horse!!

Barbaro, Affirmed, Northern Dancer, Secretariat, Slew, and Diabolo decided that they would "give it a go".......Here's a recap of the race....

"They're at the post........albeit bouncing!!  So where were we??  Ah yes, the start of the first ever Heavenly Father's Day Hippity Hop Bouncing Rubber Ball Stakes Races.......ahem.......Barbaro's in post one on the rail with Affirmed in the two post, Seattle "The Kangaroo" Slew next to him, Diabolo in post four, Secretariat post five and on the far outside, and in post six, Northern Dancer!!!  They've stopped their bouncing, have leaned far forward in a jockey's position, tightly holding their rubber handles, waiting, waiting, waiting for the Heavenly starting gate bell....Felix and Fuzzy, who are in charge of the starting gate bell, are laughing hysterically, as they purposely hold off on letting them race, for the vision of them crammed in the gate with their Hippity Hop rubber balls is just too funny!!  The Heavenly residents along the rail are also laughing uncontrollably as they cheer with delight.........Then, the roar of the crowd dims to a faint hush.....complete silence.....The bell goes and THEY'RE OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ARRGGHHHH!!!!!! Where is everybody???? (There's an excessive amount of Heavenly dust coming out of the gate as if someone turned on a leafblower in there!! *cough* *cough* *choke*)  Finally, someone has bounced out........Oh my.....Slew jumped out sideways.....AGAIN!!  Man, even in a rubber Hippity Hop ball race he takes flight on an angle!!  GEESH!!! There goes Affirmed, he's out of the gate, however he's having a tough time maneuvering his Hippity Hop ball as it refuses to go forward, but he is getting an extreme amount of "height" on the spot!!  ZOINKS!!!  Use your back legs Affirmed....PUSH WITH YOUR BACK LEGS...LEAN FORWARD ON THE RUBBER HANDLES AND PUSH!!!  Um, sorry to interupt commentating, but does this sound like "the call" of a normal Earthly race???  When was the last time you heard an Earthly announcer saying, "And here comes Pyro on the turn for home, he's leaning forward, holding the rubber handles while pushing with his back legs...what an incredible maneuver race fans"????  Ya, I didn't think so.  Anyways, back to reality, er ah, whatever you wanna call this...........Ok, remember how we told you that Sword Dancer was "polishing" Diabolo's Hippity Hop ball with some type of non-stick cooking spray in the post parade....ya, well apparently it becomes extremely slippery when exposed to dirt and because of this, it has just shuttled Diabolo into the lead by 20 feet......SLIDING....NOT BOUNCING!!  YIKES!!!!!!!!!

(Anybody see Christmas Vacation when Clark W. Griswold went sledding on his toboggan/disc after "polishing" it?? Ya, hold that thought!!)  Diabolo is STILL sliding.....will we need a Steward's Enquiry after this??  Dunno, but Barbaro just bounced so far forward that he had to be off the ground for at least 10 minutes....You could have had time to run and get a coke and a pretzel at the Heavenly concession stands by the time he landed!!!  GOOD ONE BARBARO...NICE PUSH!!!  Oh oh.....Northern Dancer, who was in post six, bounced so high, and so far forward, that when he landed he was facing the OPPOSITE direction...!!!  Needless to say, he hasn't realized it yet and has continued on the WRONG WAY...Now all the Heavenly equines from Europe are cheering with delight.....yelling, "FINALLY someone's racing the RIGHT WAY!!!"  Um, ya, actually on a side note, many Earthly American races started out running clockwise just like their European cousins.  As a matter of fact, the Belmont was not run counter-clockwise until 1921......Just a little bit of trivia for you all.........Ok, back to the Hippity Hop race.............We have decided to let Northern Dancer continue on in this direction, since he's making good ground and is in a deep concentrative state...How do we know this??  He's leaning forward, with large giant thrusts, getting good height, covering large distances, and his Heavenly TONGUE is sticking out sideways in deep thought.....HE'S REALLY INTO THIS!!!  So, down the backstretch they go...(Finally)...Diabolo's up front with Barbaro a close second, Secretariat's in third, Affirmed has made up some ground and is bouncing his way along in forth, Slew is......??  Where's Slew??  Anyone seen Slew??  Oh, there he is.........going in circles on the Clubhouse turn.......Seems that his left hind leg is a bit tired and his right hind leg is compensating for that.......Um, ok I'm getting dizzy just watching him so let's go see where Northern Dancer is shall we??  (Remember folks, he's racing the WRONG WAY!!)  Ah yes, he's bouncing on the turn for home, heading towards the backstretch.......Hmmm, I think Diabolo will see him in.....three.......two........one........Yep, he sees Northern Dancer and has JUMPED over him, so did Barbaro, so has Secretariat, and so has Affirmed....Did this just turn into a steeplechase race at Cheltenham????  The look on Northern Dancer's face was priceless, as he JUST realized he was going in the opposite direction, so he slammed on his breaks and cranked his Hippity Hop ball to the left and BOUNCED back into contention....Slew on the other hand, is still going in circles, but he did manage to gain some ground by making his way onto the backstretch.........where he's now fallen asleep upright, sitting on his Hippity Hop ball, still holding the rubber handles, head back, and SNORING....!!!  Hmmm, first quarter in 25 minutes and 32 seconds....Do the times really matter anymore???...Um, probably not......since it's a duel up front and down the stretch for home with Diabolo and Barbaro, who have created so much Heavenly dust with their Hippity Hop balls that they are both COVERED in dirt!!!  Secretariat and Affirmed have both stopped on the turn for home and have started chatting amongst themselves as Northern Dancer LEAPS over both to try and gain ground on Diabolo and Barbaro...!!!  DOWN THE STRETCH THEY BOUNCE.....Barbaro on the inside, Diabolo sliding/bouncing on the outside......They're at the wire..........It's a DEADHEAT!!  SPECTACULAR...!!!  Way to go guys!!!  The crowd is cheering with delight as all rush the Heavenly track to congratulate the entrants.....As well, Secretariat, Affirmed, Northern Dancer, Diabolo and Barbaro have all made their way to the backstretch in order to check in on a "Sleepless in Seattle-Slew", and do a bit of creative face painting on him while he's snoring.......FIGURES!!!!!  Anybody got some white face powder and mascara???  Oh well, a great time was had by all!!!"

Tomorrow we will bring you their "Post Hippity Hop Race" interview......Stay tuned!!