Who Wants Baked Goods, Er, Ah, Baked "Bads".......???

Leave it to Slew to experiment with tools one would normally NOT use in a kitchen to bake....like, let's say for example...a WELDING TORCH!!  With welding mask in hand, er, ah, hoof, and Heavenly welding tanks filled with oxygen and acetylene....Yep, you read that correct...ACETYLENE, your beloved Seattle Slew thought it would be a great idea to create a "lightly golden brown" pie crust on his latest baked good....!!!!  Did we say "lightly golden brown"????  Now please try and get a visual of how this all went down...You can picture Slew in his welding gear, right?  Yes, he put his black welder's mask on his head, and after doing so, bumped into several Heavenly walls because he couldn't see properly, which in turn caused a flurry of laughter from the rest of the gang. (Yes, Secretariat and Alydar started a "pool" to see how long it would take for Slew to do something "out of the ordinary")  Now if one didn't realize what Slew was trying to accomplish, one would think that he was trying out for the Earthly part of Darth Vader from the Earthly movie, Star Wars.......Below is a photo of Slew's welding mask.....And below that is a photo Darth Vader.....See the resemblance???

So, of course someone had to point out the fact that Slew looked identical to your Earthly Darth Vader, (That "someone" would aptly be named, Assault, John Henry, Barbaro, Affirmed, and George Washington!)  Thanks guys, now Slew's got a Heavenly broom handle in his hoof, and he's waving it around the room like it's a lightsaber!!  EVERYONE DUCK!!!  Oh no....Slew is now making the Darth Vader, "heavy breathing" noises whilst swinging that broom handle around......Please don't say, "Luke, I am your father!", please don't, please don't, please don't...YIKES....THERE IT IS....In a voice that has absolutely NO resemblance to Darth Vader (sounds more like he's got a hairball caught in his Heavenly throat), your beloved Seattle Slew utters the most famous words ever to come out of the mouth of an Earthly fictional character......"LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER!", which in turn were followed by the words, "WHO IS LUKE ANYWAYS?"  Ah, leave it to Slew........always looking for answers!!  Speaking of answers, can someone please tell me how this turned into a scene from The Empire Strikes Back....I THOUGHT we were suppose to be baking pies???  Back to the task at hand, er ah, hoof, and finally Slew relinquishes the broom handle to Regret and gets back to the business of baking pies and cakes.......

Well, to make a long story short, after lightly torching everything in sight, yes everything; Heavenly oven mitts, walls, doors, ceiling, stove, windows, etc., etc., etc.,...Slew finally gives us a peek at his "finished" baked goods.....And when we say "finished", we mean "finished", like wrecked, ruined, decimated, destroyed, unedible.....the list of adjectives are endless.....Anyways, below is a couple of photos of Slew's creation using a welding torch.....And in case you can't identify them, we'll help you:  The photo directly below is suppose to be a "Fruitcake"....well now, who da thunk it??  And the photo below that is suppose to be a Boston Cream Pie......What we're still scratching our Heavenly heads about is how in Heaven's name did the pie rise directly out of the pie pan.....Was it trying to make a "getaway"?????  Oh well, onto the next fiasco.....